Thursday, November 29, 2007
Train conversation
Yesterday I was on the train with a nodding acquaintance and started chatting. I really wanted to read my book, but it seemed impolite to pull it out, so our conversation continued after we had exhausted the usual topics related to our kids. Then he floored me by stating that he hates reading, never reads (except what he does for work, and newspapers), and thinks that books are overrated because he is always disappointed by them. At this point, I was trying to figure out how to get out of this conversation...it was still 5 minutes from my station, and I couldn't just get off the train in far West Philly and still make it to work on time. I really didn't know what to say except, "Hmm, interesting you feel that way." Honestly, I think I was as horrified as if he had announced that he was a serial killer in his spare time. At least if that had been his confession, I would have known what steps to take. In this situation, though, I don't think that I can turn him in at the local police station.
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5 comments:
I have a better understanding for WHY people don't like to read after working with so many underprepared students. Early on, someone made reading fun for us and so we did it a lot and reading was a lot like watching TV, the words produced images in our heads and worlds to escape to. For many reasons, not all kids get (or are able to get) that and so many don't develop that vivid connection to words on the printed page.
The exciting thing is that sometimes I help a student make that connection to a book (or books) in my English 108 class (where they have to choose and read a book as part of the class) and suddenly they discover that they ARE a reader.
Yet, I've often wondered if I could become seriously involved with somebody who doesn't read. I don't know because for me it's a lot like breathing. I can't imagine NOT doing it.
The downside of "being seriously involved" with other readers is you have to buy four copies of each new Harry Potter book when it comes out! And the book you are in the middle of mysteriously disappears.
Oh JNJ, I got a kick out of the serial killer comment! It is hard when you're confronted with such a verbal non-reader.
On a side note, both kids have been told on separate occasions by their friends that reading is bad and they shouldn't do it so much!
And I, for one, can live with a spouse who reads the paper, a little non-fiction and not much else. I think I may have been more disappointed if my kids didn't want to read. It's a joy to see that they both willingly read for pleasure.
I am trying to make myself come to terms with the fact that not everyone reads. It truly is mind-boggling to me, and I realize I'm terribly snobby about it. I need to be more open minded about it. My cousins STILL tease me about reading so much - they used to steal my books at the cabin and hide them so I'd play rather than read.
I have one child who is not a reader. She loves audio books, but reading books is extremely difficult for her.
My other kid does like to read, but had a very bad experience with reading last year at school (readers of Hobbled Runner will be familiar with this tale). But in the last two or three weeks, he has, I hope, put that behind him and has been reading book after book! Last night, he would not go to sleep until he finished his book. I have no idea what time he finally finished - I had long since fallen asleep.
Thanks, doc jen, for very important insight. I have to make reading fun again....
This is such an interesting conversation - Jenny and I have had this conversation in one form or another many times over the years. I, too, have that snobby initial knee-jerk reaction when someone tells me they don't read. I'm sure my love of reading has a lot to do with my ease of being able to read, my grandmothers' (kindergarten teacher & children's librarian) influence, and my family's obvious fascination with books. However, after my uncontrollable "WHAA?" moment, I now tend to ask the next question - why don't you read? And then, - what are you passionate about? For me, reading has to do with an appetite for life - so, if you don't like to read, how do you satisfy that appetite? Food for thought comes in many forms - books, music, art, theater, film, craft, philosophy, politics, etc. Passion, comfort, fun, sensuality, humor, connection - I get all these and more from reading. (and now, with goodreads and this blog I even get an immediate sense of community) But I also get them from other pursuits, too. Maybe I equate a love of reading as a kind of shorthand for curiosity and engagement with the world - something that's pretty non-negotiable in a partner.
What I don't get is when someone sounds really proud that they don't read - or is proud that they only read non-fiction...because it's somehow more serious or worthy.
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